standing in line, I think you're pretty

Please dont ask who the hell is Ashavin, Ronaldo ... or who ever. I dont even know which team they're playing for. But I can name you few Korean Players. What were they're hairstyle back in 2005? or they're signature pose when they score. Seriously, I can. Nama players Malaysia jangan cakap-lah. I know the twins. Cause I read too much gossip collumns.Until the final match of Suzuki Cup. I'm pretty proud with the Malaysian Squad. Sekolah Bukit Jalil tu. Pagi petang siang malam main bola. Belajar sikit, pastu main bola je. To cut it short. I just like watching football with my parents. Or shouting like mad with my dad. Or listening to my dad's funny comments like "ISH, budak budak ni. Kalau aku coach, habis dah aku kerjakan" , and "CLEARANCE BUAT CLEARANCE LA!" , and "BAPOK BETUL KEEPER NI!" Or my mums screaming when the ball is near the goal. Funnier when I went "Kenapa Malaysia takda player Chinese pun?" Ayah : "Ada lah. ...

we strive for a lot of things in life. and yesterdays conversation made me think of something. How I've been wasting my holiday. Should have, could have would have. You're no where near success even when you're done with studies, done with work, married....where's the end of it? But after watching 3 Idiots, after Zaza have been trying to make me watch it since forever, I finally sat down, put on the thinking cap, I mean the headphones and watched. And cried. and laughed. And cried. and paused cause ayah called. So anyways, "Son be worthy .. success will follow without hassles" “ Pursue excellence, and success will follow. ” Success you say? Seeing all the friends done with interviews and ready for their working life made me feel a little left out. No where near success now. I'm a little lost with deciding where should I send out my resume's now. Ibu says, dont be afraid of reaching out far. Just go for it. Thats my weakness. I think about whats going t...

After the last post, Ya Allah, I dont think I can bear another loss. Please dont take her away from us. Not now. Please.

.

So, people have been making the best out of 2010 I suppose? Careers, and wedding bells? Kaching! Few friends decided to bid goodbye to single life and hello husband(s). Heh. I think weddings are a little over rated lately. As much as I love a fairytale wedding. But a wedding like this is a little err? No further comment on that. Its exciting to watch of course. We cry our heart out thinking, WHY THE HELL I DONT HAVE THIS MUCH MONEY TO HAVE THIS (hand gesture as furthest you can reach) . I think I'll go over board on our honeymoon or just a house would do, maybe. ANYWAYS. First Nabilla's wedding was the simplest Ive ever seen but there were butterflies in your stomach when you walked in the reception. It was simple, but a lot was spent too! Then there was the besties kakak's wedding, which was pretty! The best wedding to attend is when everyone is not speaking loudly and just smiling looking at the pengantin. Oh sorry, no pengantin picture in here. Pengantin tak bagi, cakap...

tegur salah cakap salah. apahal sensitive sangat? what I wrote was in General. I wasn't referring to you alone. Paling benci when people say, Kubur masing masing jaga ? memang, dah benda tu berlaku depan mata, aku buat bodoh tutup dua2 belah mata, tak ke I'm dragged into your mess as well? Nevermind. Haish.

hey-yo. kawan kita orang yang paling sewel balik buat saprais! he came back for about a month till January. Landed at KLIA and called someone, come pick me up yo! Went for Karaoke sessions with the boys and the besties. Awesome part was looking at them singing Jinbara and Mawi's song and us of course, KRU moments. They came out with their new short form terms for everything too. Which is awesome. Tak tahan asyik gelak je at every single thing came out from their mouth. I found my new Barney, Ted and Marshall. Funny part when we went Karaoke-ing. It reminded me of last year. Its like this annual thing seeing all of them again. But last year, half of them were back for the holidays from study. This year, all of them cant' make it at once as most of them are working already. Seeing them come all dressed up in proper clothes just made me feel weird. I mean I know the boys being crazy, immature but always there when you need a shoulder to cry on. Now they're all like grown ups! ...

here's an update. I went to watch Narnia , in 3D y'alls. Not really a fan of 3D things, but I just booked the ticket yesterday for fun and decided to give it a go. It was awesome. Love every bits of it. It does feel like I was swimming in the ocean with them. Lucy, Edmund and of course Prince Caspian. Heh. Since Peter wasnt around, having all growned up Edmund was good enough. So comel! I almost cried at the ending too. ;( I wont spoil it! Go ahead and watch it guys! So anyways, Im rolling on my purple rug now listening to Bruno Mars. Let me give you , my view at the moment. Pemalas kan? I'm halfway through my resume, and finally organized all the certs and all. I've been having Tutti Frutti a lot this week. Was suppose to have J.Co ones cause its my favourites cause of its originality but the fact that the people in J.Co are stingy with its toppings, I decided to go with Tutti Frutti! And after almost a month, I finally washed my car. Yes I'm that pathetic I went a...

I really wanted to start working as soon as LLB ended but walawey, ko gila ke apa. I might just enjoy the rest of holidays while I still have it. Before the holiday started, there was our final mock trial and a sleepover party. They stayed at my place, all seven of us crammed in one room. Hehe. But I enjoyed every bit of it. Then came the one person who decides to ruin our mood. Then there was the crying session (on he cried). Then we decided to end our LLB days as a firm. Started off as five, leaving as five. There was too many dramas and tears that it took actually almost six hours to settle things. Its a little sad we had to ended it this way, this late. Thanks for those who were jealous of us. I really appreciate it. We could have been just like other firms. Smiling, happily and taking pictures of us. When mock trial ended, I'm not sure how I felt. I was happy at the fact I was leaving UiTM for good. Sad at the fact it ended and I had to leave my classmates that way. I hugged ...

Its the 100th entry now. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to write. Tomorrow is the day I've been dreading for ever since I entered LL.B. I dont think there was a part of me regretting the decision of entering LL.B, being the OM and getting know my classmates. As much as I want to return everything to normal, its just too painful to just ignore what happened. Its too painful to forgive and forget. I may have forgive but I dont think I can ever forget. I had fun being the OM (office manager-lah). For all I know I never liked being a leader of anything, giving instructions to people. I like to do things my way and on my own. And I dont give a damn of what people would think of what I was doing. But being OM i need to jaga both sides nye feeling. Nak kena make sure everyone follow the rules. Nak kena photostat for the class, kena jadi bendahari, kena kumpul duit. Kena buat muka tebal mintak duit. Kena marah orang. Cannot merajuk bila takda sape nak tolong. I actually liked it. I...

*blush* isnt this the cutest thing??? "Its the little things youd like to do with your wife"

*nangis*

Banyak benda nak tulis tapi asyik lupa. Ill start with this. Meja saya. Ever since I moved Ive always wanted to snap photos of the room and showed it off at OURBEDROOMS but was too busy with school. Now the fact that my room is nowhere near awesome to be published at that site. Ill just share my desk . See, I havent even gotten a chance to actually hung this up. I might ask Jason's help tomorrow. hehe. I love love love snowglobes. Ayah bought two in Monaco and I have few from Beijing and couple from Paris. Yes, there's a fake IC on the desk with my Moon's picture on it. hehe. And one of my favourite photos from last two years BBQ when Kusai came back for holidays. People always put up pictures with faces up front, this instead has our backs. :) The secret BBQ Its hard to actually organize something without inviting everyone! The thing is, thats the whole point of having a PRIVATE bbq. I miss the girls and the boys. Its been a while since I laughed so much with them around...

I never really liked choir. well, until today.

O Captain my Captain! our fearful trip is done; The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring: But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, Where on the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead. Have I told you , I lived for DPS? Anyways, I dont know, but when criminal paper ended. it feels like I'm done with LLB. and feels like this!

oh so malas. malas. malas. how how how? Suka criminal. I mean the subject. But I dont think 3 hours is enough to answer 200 marks worth of question. Aiyah! and lookie. I'm surveying and listing down the places to visit in Korea. I'm hoping hoping I get to go early or by summer next year!

Apa perasaan anda sekarang? Takut. Kenapa masa cepat betul berlalu? Pejam pelik pejam pelik dah seminggu? Tapi ni kan yang awak nak hari tu . Memang saya mintak. Sebab saya penat sangat dengan kerenah semua orang. Saya rasa saya dah habis study. Saya rasa saya dah ingat semua kes. Tapi saya rasa takut nak ambil exam ni. Saya risau. Kenapa hari ni tak hujan macam hari tu? Hari tu. Hari tu hujan. Bukak sliding door. Walaupun sikit sebab tak nak jiran nampak tapi rasa bahagia sangat. Rasa macam nak nangis pun ada. Sebab finally dapat rasa 'selamat' dapat rasa lepas semua. Dah rasa, cukuplah. Saya selamat di sini. Tak ada siapa akan ganggu hidup. Kelmarin. Selama lepas pindah ni, tak pernah tengok bilik bersepah tahap macam ni. Buka buku sana sini. Entah masuk kepala entah tak. Dekat bawah notes tu ada satu memo yang berbunyi , "we're in a city of aliens, pretending to be people we're not until we're comfortable enough with each other to be who we are. so, only yo...

I'm hurt. It feels like my heart has been ripped off my chest. I dont think I have enough tears left. I dont think I can go on with this anymore. I am strong. I am. But not anymore. I'm done with your lies. I'm done with you telling everyone about how cruel we are. We've done our part. It's up for to you to judge. Please go ahead and judge us. We deserve to be mad. We deserve the blame on you for everything. I think I could have forgive you if you admitted your mistake and say you're sorry. But you never did. Everything was our fault. I'm sorry I've known you. I'm sorry I've been defending you all this while. When I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have in the first place. I don't deserve to feel this way. My firm mates dont deserve to be treated this way. You wanted this. Please leave our firm. We're sick and tired and dont have the energy to proceed anymore. Please I am begging you to stop. Stop creating lies. Stop ripping our heart ...

dear merengs, thank you for the amazing 5 years. You thought me everything I need to know about life and patience. dear friends, thank you for being one , I hope this lasts forever. my dearest firmmates, thank you for being more than a friend, you're like a family to me. my dearest classmates, thank you for being awesome. you have no idea how much I'm going to miss our birthday celebrations and the random laughs. dear LLB, goodbye. I will never come back for you. hehe. =P

what would you do when you finally found your soul mate. that one person you've been looking for this whole time. that you share the same interests. that you share the same hobbies. the perfect one that fit each and every description you've always read on daily horoscopes. but you're letting it go because you believe that he deserves to be with the one he loves the most even though he's hurt all the time. I'm not sure whats the right answer to that. But the fact that he sends randoms forwarded messages to me alone on how I should not be choosy in finding the man of my dreams made me realize I don't want to let him go nor fight for him. Maybe I could wait couple more years?

heres one thing i never admit to anyone. jealous-nye! tgk my friends boyfriends who are sweet to them! :(

you know, after all of the drama, the challenges, I think it all sum out in one thing. you end up smiling at the end of the day after a long brawl of never ending tears. I am accepting yesterday's HUGE fight as nothing but a lesson for me. I know I can trust no one in my class now. For all I know, some people just love being the middle person who loves to see us in that state. They would definitely like to see us break into pieces dont they? I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I dont think I am ever this upset after hearing things like this from everyone else. What hurts the most is how hard you try to please that person and all he do is just ignore it. I am hoping from all the 2 hours fight of shouting, crying and pujuk-pujuk session comes to an end when all five of us walking up on stage and graduate as a LLB grad and would be able to apply to any firm easily and soon be a lawyer. I know there's going to be ups and down for this coming two months, but I am hoping none of...

I feel like giving up. I hate everything I'm doing right now. I miss my friends dearly. I feel like crying because I'm not sure who am I suppose to talk to right now.

gooood morning. saya ada baaannnnyak banyyakk kerja. seronok. macam main roller coaster! saya makan banyaaaakkkk sem ni. seronok. macam tengok Upin Ipin. lets do some dance this morning. :(

i feel like shit.

Nope. No where near complete. My room is in a total mess I must say, the clothes, books, its everywhere. The only thing left is my bed. So went to catch the movies with the girls last Friday night. SATC2 was awesome. We kept nudging each other every five minutes because it was too hillarious and it somehow portrays each and every one of us. So thats how we put it. Yes I am that lazy to blog. Bye. PS : if you're lazy to eat your greens, like me. get yourself some wheatgrass shots for RM3.50. It equals to 1KG of veggies! haha. We found a new solution for a great dier. hehe.

My moon! The fisherman! :)

seeing your bestest friend in the greatest pain. 7 years and its so easy for him to just abandoned her. He didn't even had the balls to say its over, instead making his new 'girlfriend' call her to tell her its over. How cruel can you get?

I dont care if this screw up the layout. but, GLEE finale was awesome. For some reason, what ever happens just dont give up. :)

I feel hopeless. For a moment I feel empty. I can never understand you really. When I decided to just ignore and let go , you just keep coming back.

I woke up today feeling creative. Well maybe a little. I finally burned all the photos I'm suppose to send off into a disc. And I suddenly have crazy inspiring idea to print it out and make a congratulation cards for the friends. Oh well. Maybe soon. Ive been spending my days at Klang. Its actually 90% done. The only thing left is moving in! Its been restless week. I had to supervise everything there just because the guards wont let the contractors in on Weekends. So the day before I was running up and down answering questions regarding the doors, the lights, the boiler, the cabinets, the grill. It gave me a headache! Its pretty scary being the only female in the house with this all chinese man working. The only person I trust in that house is the light guy. Cause I'm so used of going to his shop so I kept following him to the whole house. Oh for the past three days I've been stuck on traffic jam as well. Its crazy it actually took 1 and 1/2 hour to get from Klang to Subang...

Ayah : "So no class today?" *shakes head" Ayah : "So youre not going do anything today?" *shakes head* Ayah : "So you're going to laze around till your convocation next week" *Nods* that sums up my conversation with ayah today before hogging up the tv this morning. Me : "OMG BOSAANNYE! GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK" Abang : "stop being a drama queen, two weeks ago you were screaming wanting your life back, there you go you have it." Me : "HURGH!" thats the conversation with abang during breakfast this morning. aiyoh pathetic nye.

ini lagu sangat inspiring!

this morning when I woke up , you came into my mind. Its funny how I remembered back the reason I decided to change my number. And I remembered it so clearly the morning I received your message and deleted it. I'm not sure whether you decided to be my friend out of pity or was it just a joke. I'm not sure whether liking you in the first place was real or was it just a joke. But I'm pretty sure, it took three fucking long years to let go.

So hows your holiday? Mine has been good so far. Despite that its been only officially 4 days of holiday. I basically ran out of things to do. I've watched, almost all of the movies. Baked. Ate endless cupcakes. So I'll start with the cupcake story. I've been baking cupcakes for my classmates and besties last week. But funny, I've been craving Cupcakechic's cupcakes for its so awesome buttercream. So anyhoo, I basically passed by cupcakechic hundred of times but didnt have the courage, oh wells, to actually fork out some money just for its icing. I end up having the best yogurt in the whole Malaysia. Better than tutti fruti I tell you. Heh. J.Co's! So anyways, my sister mentioned that "her bestfriends' brother works part time at cupcakechic" So voila! Ever since I've been getting free cupcakes at home everyweekend. So Im officially tired of Cupcake now. I think I've tried all flavors, minus ones with rums. Hmm. The Movie. KickAss, Ironman,...

So. Past two days have been a bliss. It feels so weird not having to worry about books. Or so, I still receive emails from Lecturers regarding Mock Trial and assignment. But anyhoo, since most, or we'll put it all of them are working. So basically my broad-daylight activity is to stay at home and well, do nothing. And late night dates! I've been dreading to bake since everyone has been stressed out with LLB. When I stress I bake. So during LLB days, the only thing I bake is Apple Crumble. Every weekend I tell you, while my mum is busy cooking, I'd be by the oven baking apple crumbles. Of course, I even made ayah buy some ice cream to eat with it. I was browsing through the recipes yesterday. Found few great ones. Ive tried sorts of cupcakes recipes before. And going through my baking appliances I realize my mum actually bought lots of new stuff for me! I haven't bake for a while and rummaging through the baking box was like going through presents under Christmas tree. ...

*giggles*

I lost. I'm sorry I was that blind to see all this. And now its all gone. And maybe what the Turkish guy said in Chit Chat of Beautiful ladies who married a Korean girl whom he only met 3 days earlier does make sense. LLB, you're so cruel!

Takkan satu jam pun tak boleh? Sorry! =(

I switched off the laptop earlier, but since the radio kept repeating the same songs I switched it on again. So instead of leaving the laptop on the table, I decided to place it on the floor, knowing that I'd be addicted to clicking TUMBLR every 5 seconds or maybe replying peoples tweets. And now, I'm sitting on the floor. writing this while watching GLEE interviews. Bleagh. Fail! So this doesn't make any difference. Finals starts next week. I am no where near ready. In Dato's class yesterday he said, failure is just a phase. Its okay not get A in everything. I am always inspired listening to whatever he says. Anyways. bye. Study. Test Civil esok. Saya suka Civil. Tapi saya pemalas :(

I hate it when our schedule clashes. I hate it when we planned things and I end up having to cancel it. I hate it when I have some free time but you have tests coming up. and we end up cancelling our movie date. Haih. On aside note, been spending the weekend back and forth to the new home. Yay! 40% done.

I'm sorry I forgot about you. I'm sorry I forgot about our plans. I'm sorry I didn't return your calls. I'm sorry I cried when I talked to you. I'm sorry I had to complain to little things to you. I'm sorry I went out. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I pretended that I'm fine. I'm not. I'm sorry, I miss you.

I;m writing this because I decided to skip my favourite Forensic Class after all the never ending misery. Maybe all of this happen for a reason. A short conversation with Izzati this morning, or was it evening? suddenly gave me second thoughts about career. How her brother decided to quit architecture after spending 4? 5 years? and decided to pursue his dream to become a pilot. I have no idea why, it inspired me alot. I did a lot of thinking while driving. As much as I want to end my studies as soon as possible just to live up my parents dream and maybe become a lawyer, or maybe become a Judge like how my dad wants me to be. *throws confetti* I remember him laying down plans, like he had this planned in his head since he was a kid. That thing you do as if you're laying down your marriage plans. Yes that thing. Its like he was describing it in Mind Map and drawing tables with arrows all the way to the top. As much I want to live up my parents dream, there's a part of me of wanti...

aku tak suka LLB. sebab LLB hidup aku tak tentu arah. sebab LLB aku tak ada kawan. sebab LLB aku tak ada weekend. HMPH! *menyampah*

On my way here Where I am now I've learned to fly I have to want to leave the ground I've fallen hard but I've been loved And in the end it all works out My faith has conquered fear On my way here Lepas aku buat kerja. Make sure all classes pays. Make sure kitaorg punya jersey cantik. Make sure I have a team playing at least even though we suck with futsal. And kau kata nama aku dah buruk among the seniors just because I said "unfair la kitaorg kena cheer right after our last game." AGH EMOSI! BENCI ORANG MACAM NI! Dont treat me like I'm a 5 year old. Dont talk to me as if I've never handled a program before. If you guys didn't do this last minute. NO SUCH THING WOULD HAPPEN! you have no idea what I had to go through yesterday and in the end you gave me shit?

I have this crazy imagination that I finished study. I am working. I have my own home room. I go on late night dates. but for now. I am grateful when I actually have time to sleep and go on dates on weekend. Oh well at least for now. Oh and yay and yay, I bought a new phone cover for my phone! Finally. It's actually pink, but wahey, thats the closest I could get next to purple. Heh.

This what happens when you have a friend in need. A walk in the park in the middle of the night. Sat in one corner and listen.

Sometimes when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you. It's like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize it's not always that easy. It's not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you're leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.

saya amat benci kehidupan LLB. this morning I woke up feeling like, "HEY, its an awesome morning" There's no snoozing the alarm button. Instead, I woke up took my morning shower, switched on the laptop thinking I should finish my BM assignment a little before getting my breakfast. Click click click. Facebook. SHIT. HAH! AKU BENCI. anyways. lepas tu, tweet because I miss my gediks chippettes. Because for a moment I feel really grateful at the fact that I have them. I do. Taknak emosi di sini. Lepas tu pergi ke kelas dengan perasaan yang menyampah. Sampai Uitm lif rosak pulak. Punch card tak tulis nama lagi pulak tu. First class is our Criminal Tutorial. As much I love criminal, I hate the fact it's on Monday morning. 8.30 CLASS is a crazy hour to have your criminal tutorial. Dengan tiada perasaan , saya meneruskan perjuangan di dalam kelas. Kelas Forensic at 4 started with a total blur sebab kemalasan yang teramat sangat. Tetapi hari ini, lepas almost 2 months tengok g...

This is the time when you say to yourself, you know what Farah Lisa? This is the last straw. Don't give a damn about that person. Go on with your life. I have awesome friends by my side, awesome firmmates, and awesome encik bulan. Who the hell care whats going on with that other person. As much as I'm concern, I AM TRYING TO BE NICE HERE! You can go ahead move on with your fucking life, cause here I am moving on with mine. YOu have no idea how much I hate the fact we "WERE" so called friends before. HAH! puas hati. Sorry, maaf kerana post ini sangat form 3 nye rant. But come one, we're all 23 now. Grow up will you?

I want to be able wake up in the morning and have this awesome sunrise accompany me all the way to class. But booho. It's always dark when I get back, and it's already dark when I get home! :(

I dont think was the only person who almost gave up on LLB. I dont think I was the only one who broke down crying and all I need to do was let others know that I am not okay. But who am I to show this around my classmates? One of them even packed and cleaned out their table to give up when she's the only person in class I thought could just stay strong and go on. And I was the one who kept saying "no, this is only the beginning. you can;t give up now." Funny, that kind of words coming out from myself when I am the one who almost break down infront of my parents saying I can't do this anymore. I am grateful for my wonderful classmates. My firm mates. They're always around to put up the gloomy mood into one cheery one by just cracking into some random jokes. Or just by saying "JOM MAKAN". As much I loathe LLB for stealing all my quality times, I still like the fact I have awesome classmates around :)

lonely. penat. malas. terasa hati. kecik hati. besar hati. suka hati. saya suka classmates saya. saya suka firmmates saya. saya paling suka lecturers saya. dari CTA ke Criminal Procedure ke Probate. Semua saya suka. I do like LLB, the lecturers are super awesome. But I wish we had more time to breathe this in and learn each and everything slowly. I miss my friends. I miss coming home early and have dinner with my family. I miss going for late night outings with the besties. Oh and jealousnye tengok friends with bf's. Haha. Thats so random.

I cant believe December ended so quickly. In basically less than 24 hours Ill be actually registering myself to hell. Well, thats what people say. I wont have this late night outings with the besties anymore. November was fun. Langkawi trip and the last dinner with the classmates. December was memorable for me. Probably because Kusai is back for a month and Atiya was still working for Astro so we get to join weekly recording of this Dancing with the star ripped off. So we hang out a lot. It's almost a weekly routine to just sit down and hang and just laugh. Dec 3rd - Went to see live recording. It was my first time entering this kind of studio. Met bunch of local artists ! Went for a movie with the girls in Pyramid. Met the boys since Kusai is back in town. Hang a little. Watched Zombieland. Laughed like there's no tomorrow. It was seriously a good movie! Went to Curve on Christmas Eve. Wasnt planned to go out. I thought we were going to some random mamak stall. So end up si...