standing in line, I think you're pretty

Why I'm at home on new years eve? promise me you wont go out tonight. what? why? just because. you can go out tomorrow night but not tonight. biarlah. nak keluar malam ni je. please dont go out tonight. hmm. will see. just dont go out tonight okay? So yeah, I sort of promised someone Im not going to to celebrate new year tonight. So I;m going to waste the night recapping 2009. RECAP! January Classes started early, was rushing home for the new year BBQ at home. I slept through all the fireworks. Kusai left for New Zealand again. :( Eggie and Lil's 22nd Birthday! lil's suprise 22nd @ TGIF. Definitely a night to remember. Had to dragged her all around to wait for everyone to arrive. Kusais final gathering before he leaves for NZ again :( Eggies suprise @ Itallianies Curve. 3 February Half of the time busy with SMF stuff Wan & Zaza's birthday Indoor and Outdoor photoshoot for SMF No wine and cheese. Get to bake and sell stuff March Jason Mr...

Yesterday was a long day. A week ahead planned movie became a small reunion with the school friends. Suddenly everyone decides it's a day to meet everyones friend. Funny, yesterday was filled with boys. Funnier I am comfortable with each of them because they're the close friends. We went for a late movie. Turned into a really late movie. Avatar was sooo long I almost slept through the movie. Atiya and I kept poking each other making the end scenes into jokes. It was suppose to be a good movie. IT WASNT! Zombieland was much better. The graphic and etc was amazing and pretty. But wey, I can't stand suddenly people (or whatever they call it) gather around a tree to save person life? Oh yeah, Christmas decorations have always been my favourite. The lights in Pyramid is amazing. The trees decorations in Curve on the other hand is pretty! But I think Sunway Pyramid's lights decorations tops all. The year is really coming to an end isnt it? 2009 has been amazingly awesome for...

I have the strangest feeling once new year comes along its going to be the very last day I get to spend time with the besties. Its not like we've done enough hanging out. It's just that Im so comfortable having them around and the thing with them is there's no drama. No pathetic ones around. If I were to write a love story about them I think their love life story would surpass any Hindustan movie around. But they dont make a big deal of it. They dont involve others. And you cry seeing them in that state. But I only see strength and happiness in them when Im with them. They dont spoil other moods. But once they get home, and getting texts from them realizing how in a bad state they are actually. Honestly, I dont know what to say to them when they talk about all of this. I am in no position to give any advice. I can't let them know whats right and wrong cause I am not sure of it myself. And the only thing I can do is, accompany them. Because I know when they're alone ...

hah. malas nak layan orang yang emo lebih lebih. ajak salah. tak ajak salah. Message bukan pernah nak reply kan. whateverlah.

She says its time to let go. It's time be apart. He says, its not. She says she has to let go. He accepted it but has a broken heart. She says she's heartbroken too. She's sad too. She cant get let go but she has too. His life is falling apart since they're apart. He finds the other 'her' to mend the broken heart. To say how sad he is. How heartbroken he is. She finds 'her' to say that she can't get over him but there's the other 'him'. How complicated is this. Love you say? This is a neverending drama. At the end of the day, the only person who will have her heart torn apart is me! It's not even torn apart, it's like being ripped off my chest! I dont want to be in between this! I cant go around seeing you happy! and seeing him crying his heart out everytime he calls!

i kinda regret not bringing my camera along, 2 days in a row. but hey, the sunset view from the rugby field was mesmerizing i tell you! Today was surreal. I woke up thinking its going to be another day. So I messaged all of the besties if they wanted to go to Rasta. Knowing that they only wake up yet another 3 hours, I followed my mum to buy groceries. Yes I really thought it was another Saturday. Ayah is coming home from LIMA so I might as well, be the driver to pick up ayah at airport later. But hello. It wasn;t another Saturday. It was awesome. Spending time with friends. Suddenly we were all single ladies again. yes. Single. And comfort from friends is the only thing we need. I'm really glad they're working now so its easier to just call and say LETS HANG! because with them, we say stupid things, meet weird people and this is the time of our life. Making mistakes, learning them, meeting people, try to learn them. So after heavy lunch at this Thai Restaurant in Taipan, went...

I cant get used to your late night messages. Your late night calls. When you message in the morning just to say "GOOD MORNING FARAH!" even though it's actually noon by then. Or when you message late at night to wish good night. oh this is so so so wrong. wrong!

yeah yeah.

It was the longest 12 hours of my life. I think it took more than 18 hours to get us to Langkawi. But the outcome was amazing. Spending it with lovely friends. And laughing every other minute with them. Even sleeping was a joke to us. so this is 1st day. I think I'm going to wait a little longer till I upload the rest on Facebook. =D While everyone was asleep. I woke up at almost 6 to catch sunrise. But it was on the other side. of the train. So the best I could capture was this. We reached Sg. Petani by then. So it reminded me of lots of things when we were in Kedah. Syat and Herni. The silhouette shot! Finally! 8.45 AM! In Arau! Reached langkawi around 1. Since it was prayers time, the bus would only pick us up at 2. So we sat down by the beach near Dataran Lang and picnic here. The weather was awesome we sat there and had our really cheap lunch. Favourite shot! We went to Dataran Lang that night again for dinner. Since 6 of us had early dinner near the motel we were staying we ...

what I'm doing right now? the wait is killing me! 11 PM every Wednesday. AAAAA. I'm you-tubing. like a lot. I'm done packing, and I made a 12-hour-train-survival-kit minus the junk foods. (cause haven't step out from home to get any) Mp3 that last at least 10 hours. 2 novels. Yes I'm creepy like that to read vampire diaries. Vampire academy sounds interesting too. Anyway, a journal to keep doodling on stuff. sunnies cause well, to sleep. deodorant (WTF tak tau eja!) and a bottle, I repeat, only one bottle of water. Not 2 not three. Dont think the going back and forth to the toilet part is good. So yeah. White sandy beaches, baby! I hope it doesn't rain a lot in Langkawi!

Here's a picturesque entry. with a story behind it. not in order. Im good with remembering things with numbers but when it comes to dates. Total failure. the makan-makan session at home. If only I prepared things earlier, the food would be better. But oh wells, I was too laid back . our last lecture for BLS ended just like that. No tears, except for Naz, but yeah, the class ended with our lecturer showing some inspirational quotes. Which reminds me of tumblr a lot. But getting this from a young lecturer, whom I think have succeed in life to get what she wants was really inspiring . Our so called pre-graduation dinner was so boring I could kill myself. But in the end, it always turned out awesome with great company by your side . I hesitated to watch AAR when they came down to Malaysia. But I know I couldnt miss this for a life time. 2 concerts this year. If only I was around to go to World Stage. But yeah, Tyson Ritter. Full stop. He's born to entertain people. If only he could...

i was going to Ive been trying to. ive been praying to heaven. separuh gila. separuh mati. ada insurance for death bcause of study tak? or maybe if one jadi gila ke? we should make money on this. huuuh. i bought 2 books today. keeping it for the holidays. its on the desk. its so tempting. ahhhhhhh!!!! juris takut takut.

orang kata kita yang sebenarnya gila kalau kita panggil org tu gila?! im writing this from my phone. i have lifehouse on repeat n everything around me drives me insane. i want to go out for a drive but i feel that itll waste my time. the cases and facts in my head is a total blur. im scared like shit i cant remember everything. i dont want to dissapoint my parents. macam mana ni? last 3 topics tu x faham apa-apa...... macam mana ni....????? takut sgt.

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.

penat sangat. nak give tapi tak boleh. because you cant fail if you never give up kan? I need to watch Dead Poets Society again but I cant find the cd anywhere. penat. mungkin sebab enjoy sangat Sabtu aritu? I feel guilty that night after coming back from concert and I stayed up till 5 revising. Then woke up at 8 and straight away studied for the whole day. Now I'm just plain tired. As if my brain doesn't work anymore.

this is it isn't it? The last straw. To prove my parents that I can do it. I survived 3 years of hell and hecticness. The challenges. The tears. The neverending dramas. good luck and all the best for finals my friends :)

my written journal are now filled with scary sad entries. my tears ruined and soaked four pages through it. it smudged all the ink. and now I wish the ink will smudge everything and let the four page of sad entries fades.

"If you feel like running today, you know I'd understand" ~ Damn Girl

photo by : http://crimesofillusions.deviantart.com/art/La-Vita-E-Bella-10251462 5 yesterday in some random shops I saw a box of coloured chalks. Big ones. it was about RM5. And I had crazy ideas in my head that I wanted to draw clouds and rainbows on some random streets. But I never did. I turned around and walked out from the shop.

I cant stand this. I cant pretend anymore. I hate you even more right at this moment. Ibu was right in the first place. I tried to forgive you, but you didnt even try. You didnt even make an effort to say you're sorry. Guess what. it's over now. I dont have a sister.

saya : jom pergi tengok time travelers wife. kamu : hah! cerita tu. tak best la! saya : dah tengok ke??!! kamu : ada yang version bm punya. isteriku mesin basuh. saya : $%$%^&* what? kamu : yela. movie tu kan? *lol* your're so random!

sorry. hati dah tertutup. kecewa. im sticking with the idea of renting house with friends next semester.

I didnt study. I decided to abandon all the stress for these 2 days. I cant afford adding any more stress. I had a good laugh today. I laughed at stupid things. At stupid words and at stupid things I said. I woke up and had a big bang theory session and laughed. Went to class a bit late but was suprised that the highway was clear. No traffic jam. I reached within 15 minutes. Went to class and listened to stupid jokes people made. Got a phone call that the invitation card for dinner is all done. Went to Bangsar with the girls to complete our dinner dress hunting. I am 80% there. Had lunch in Mont Kiara and crashed some unknown person open house. In conclusion it was a good day. After all the tears. stress and dramas. It was a good day. Now going out for an ice cream session with bffs. ps: sorry for the previous emotional entry.

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Allah is merciful. There are times when you feel like the whole world is against you. No one to back you up. No one there for you. You turn to HIM. Up above. Knowing these challenges were made for a reason. It's not life if there's no challenges. I turn to YOU every single day. I seek for YOUR forgiveness. I seek for health for the whole family. Seek forgiveness for my family. friends. and loved ones. I beg for patience. God is merciful. All I need now is strength. To forgive and forget. Ya Allah . Why is it so hard to do so? There's so much hate and hatred. I feel like I'm losing everything because of this. My own blood. My own relation. Give me strength to go.

These aren't consumers. They're people. These aren't foreigners. They're people. These aren't civilians. They're people. These are people. They are people. And one on their own is a person. Just like you. ~ I wrote this for you.

ok fine. supposedly on hiatus tapi.. RINDU! jauhnya kamu. :(

I think I'll put everything on hold. Less active in tumblr. Less active here. Less active in facebook. Heh. Will be active in LJ. Adios.

me: you, jom pergi tengok concert All American Rejects! :) him : you, jom pergi tengok concert Raihan! :) me : alaaaaaaaaaa :( him : jangan la marah B-) *dies*

syahdunya dengar takbir raya.

My parents are the funnies people alive. Especially when they're together. This morning during Sahur ayah suddenly went "Tomorrow please dont wake me up for sahur, I'm skipping Sahur". eheh. Oh yes, last weekend they went to Carrefour, and bought this CD. When I came downstairs ayah was mumbling about this CD. "I think I bought a corrupted CD, I tried playing it and it said "Can't read CD" I looked at it and started laughing. "Ayah, this is VCD, and Karaoke. Not an audio CD." Ayah ofcourse went ballistic and started complaining to my mum saying it was her fault because she's the one who chose it. But, it was boths fault. They're just wey opposite of each other when they're together. Haha. Bye. Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir & Batin. I'm off to buat ketupat and potong chilli!

“We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.” — Grey’s Anatomy

What happens when 2 of my favourite bands join forces and becomes one? = PURE AWESOMENESS! Loveholics! Yes I am 'this' close to break down into tears listening to them. Horan can't replace JiSun. but still.

Bila orang bisik bisik dekat depan tutup guna buku. Bila orang yang kenal tiba-tiba delete dekat facebook, tapi orang lain dia tak delete. Bila adik salahkan saya dalam semua benda yang tak ada kena mengena. Bila kawan tak bother amikkan notes kalau tak pergi kelas, padahal kalau dia orang tak pergi kelas kita tolonglah kutip notes sorang satu so tak ada yang tertinggal. Bila nak dengar pendapat semua orang je, pendapat saya tak nak dengar kan? Bila plan, effort tak ada sape nak kisah. Bila apa yang kita buat tak di-appreciate. Bila plan sesuatu, yang lain je tahu, saya tak tahu apa-apa. Tahu-tahu, Boleh ke FARAH? Bila bersembang, kita tidak faham apa yang disembangkan, tak ada siapa nak explain, semua cakap itu "RAHSIA, tak penting" Takpelah. Saya makan hati, terasa sendiri pun. Tak ada kena mengena dengan sesiapa kan.

I want to study hard. Get good grades. Impress the lectures. Graduate on time. Get my scroll. Walk down the aisle. and make my parents proud.

So last night went out to break fast with Afiq and friends. When he called earlier I asked about how many people going and he mentioned our school friends and there's few girls. As usual when last minute plans turned into something else, people backing out etc. I end up being the only girl hanging out with them. "dont worry! Afiq ada" Hah! So we spent half an hour in the car thinking where we should eat, and end up in Pyramid. Where I witnessed three guys making food disappear in less than 5 minutes. Which is crazy. on aside note, honestly I feel kind of erm, how do I put this. Erm, felt like I wasnt suppose to be there? The fact of being the only girl hanging with them. Every time they said "where should we go now" I feel like saying "go home?" But being the minority there I didnt want to disappoint them or anything. Its just I wasnt comfortable hanging around with 3 boys eventhough Afiq is the bestie. In conclusion. Always double-check who's goin...

Finally developed the last 2 films before LOMO became RIP. *tears*