standing in line, I think you're pretty

O Captain my Captain! our fearful trip is done; The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring: But O heart! heart! heart! O the bleeding drops of red, Where on the deck my Captain lies, Fallen cold and dead.

to think about marriage scares me. I want to have a family to have a loving husband, but reaching that goal seems to sound even harder than getting a good old certificate that could make both your parents smile and be proud of it for lifetime... It scares me that I feel like I'm running out of time with all this. Being pressured by friends who's all getting married around the same time. It scares me that what if when I found the right person, I'm not the right one for him. I'm trying my best to push the negativity away but reality can be painful. Waking up in the morning knowing that you're going to see that someone. He might not know anythign but for some funny reason his existence brightens your mood. This might be one of those things I might talk with my friends in the future and laugh it off. But for now? Ya Allah, jauhkanlah dia dari aku. ;(

hai kawan. saya sedih. lupa ke? ini yang awak minta dulu? apa? ini. kerja. merasa duit sendiri. bilik sendiri. ini tak sempurna. ah, itu alasan. awak tak pernah bersyukur dengan apa yang awak ada. kerja. duit yang cukup. tubuh badan yang sihat. rumat. makan cukup. pakai cukup. kehulu kehilir berkereta. apa lagi yang tak ada? kasih sayang. habis tu mereka semua ni siapa? siapa? ayah ibu abang adik? kawan-kawan yang peluk cium awak bila jumpa awak? kawan-kawan awak yang mesej setiap pagi tanya khabar. yang gelak ketawa. yang kongsi ais krim bersama. yang peluk awak bila sedih. yang pujuk awak bila sedih. tak cukup lagi? bersyukurlah dengan apa yang awak ada. urusan Jodoh tu kan di tangan Allah? =( وَزَكَرِيَّا إِذْ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُ رَبِّ لَا تَذَرْنِي فَرْدًا وَأَنتَ خَيْرُ الْوَارِثِينَ “Dan (ingatlah kisah) Zakariya, tatkala ia menyeru Tuhannya ‘ya Tuhanku, janganlah Engkau membiarkan aku hidup seorang diri, dan Engkau adalah Waris Yang Paling Baik’.”(QS. Abiya/ 21: 89)