regret?

we strive for a lot of things in life.

and yesterdays conversation made me think of something. How I've been wasting my holiday. Should have, could have would have.

You're no where near success even when you're done with studies, done with work, married....where's the end of it?

But after watching 3 Idiots, after Zaza have been trying to make me watch it since forever, I finally sat down, put on the thinking cap, I mean the headphones and watched. And cried. and laughed. And cried. and paused cause ayah called.

So anyways,

"Son be worthy .. success will follow without hassles"

“Pursue excellence, and success will follow.”

Success you say? Seeing all the friends done with interviews and ready for their working life made me feel a little left out. No where near success now. I'm a little lost with deciding where should I send out my resume's now. Ibu says, dont be afraid of reaching out far. Just go for it. Thats my weakness. I think about whats going to happen too much.

Things like, if I apply a job in KL. I might reconsider it's traffic and having to come home late at night. I can tolerate going out at 6.30 in the morning to be at the office on time, but I can't tolerate driving back home alone in the middle of the night.

I think I need a sign for all this. A sign that show I need to this and that. or maybe I just need some courage to just go ahead. I was reading this book, and one of it of how some people can just figure something out at one go. It was this Greek Statue they found buried It was perfectly preserved. So when the scientist, geologist , who ever experts lah.. Spent 14 months research on it. It was a perfect artifact from the Roman days. Imagine, they spent 14 months on research knowing it was a genuine original statue back then. It was displayed in the Musuem. After couple of months on display, one of the head of the Musuem in Athens took one look at it and asked them to remove it from the display. It was 'fresh'.

It was actually a fake statue/sculpture. And yes, all I need right now is a fake statue. Heh. At least 10 people spent 14 months to make sure it was a genuine statue, but it took only four seconds for the head of the Musuem.

So yes, I'm a little inspired by the movie, book and talk with Zaza. I might need 14 months to figure out my life, but it might take me only 4 seconds to just figure things out for my life. No one really knows how. Maybe after that 14 months I am somewhere where I want to be and I could figure things out in four seconds.

I don't think I've ever been this emotionally down on one little thing. But hey, that's life. All I need right now is a book and a cup of coffee some courage to just get on with it.