standing in line, I think you're pretty

ive been wanting to write. but seems like all my entries are depressing. i dont feel like writing at all when in two three weeks time I might decided to write another entry and stopped halfway cause I saw the old entries. haha. ok. I found awesome mustache iphone app that I like now. become vain suddenly all because of this app. here's some handsome pics of me and my friends. :p Celebrated Arlina's. Got a day off that day cause was having a terrible sorethroat. I needed that break. Oneday . but it was worth it. Did facial. went for a good lunch. stared at the ceiling. dinner out with friends. after two months being all stressed out and depressed. all I needed was a day off away from everything at home, away from work, away from these complicated things. but well, we cant run away forever right? Alhamdulillah Im feeling better now. I think I can cope with my work, and balanced it with everything now.

Ya Allah. Jangan duga aku sebegini.

Dear you, I miss you so much it hurts. Im not sure whether at this moment I should trust my brain more than my heart. My heart says you know you love that person when you show your lowest point to them and he would be there answering to each and every single complaints and ends it with "so feel much better?" and still accepts your weakness. Youd say cheesy things like "ill pray for your safety in my prayers" But at times like this my mind says something else. Maybe he's not the one. Maybe this is not the time. Maybe Allah has better plans. Maybe its time to rest this heart. ---- okbye.

there's this one article i like to read in iluvislam. everyday without fail. its actually the same article. so i screencapture it and read it everymorning or everynight before I go to bed. because it reminds me of the smallest thing in life that makes me feel grateful of what I have. Every single time I read it. I cry. I dont know why but I cry. so yes. am not going to share it because I find it personal. hehe. go ahead and read the entries there , who knows you might find one that makes you cry everysingletime you read it too?

the lowest point. when you feel you're not good enough for your family. when you feel that you disappointed your boss with your bad bad research and submission. when you feel that there's no future between you and him. when you feel that that people dont deserve to have what they have. when you feel that you still have a long way to go in this career. when you just feel like giving up everything. rasa macam iman dah hilang. rasa macam fikiran dah ambil hati ini. and whats left is between you and God.

orang tanya kenapa sedih? orang tanya, cerita lah? orang kata tak apa. nangis lah. orang kata 'you know i'm just a phone call away'. saya diam. sebab I am blessed with wonderful friends around. but how about 'biarlah rahsia' for now.

at time like this saya bersyukur dengan apa yang saya ada. hati yang tak pernah dilukai. tetapi sedih. perasaan itu tidak pernah wujud lagi. mungkin pernah , tiada siapa yang tahu. awak patut bersyukur sebab awak berpeluang merasai perasaan itu. so jangan datang dekat saya sedih macam nak bunuh diri sebab lelaki tu tinggalkan awak. tolonglah jangan jadi bodoh boleh tak? hish

That moment when your dad takes your ipad and starts browsing your facebook cause he has no idea what facebook is. that moment when he starts browsing your profile. photos. friendslist. his siblings (my uncles and aunties) then asks "eh? cik Ah pergi Timor Leste" that -____- moment when you realize your dad is not actually checking 'current' scores of Abu Dhabi PGA Open and browsing your facebook instead. then that moment when he says "habislah, kalau dah login facebook tak boleh log out dah" that lagi -_____- moment. yes my friends. my dad only goes online to check current scores. which he's really good at too. aiyoyoyo.

at times, things are better left unsaid. or so keeping it to yourself. فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا [94:5] Surely with hardship there is ease. إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا [94:6] With hardship there is ease. kalaulah hati boleh rasa kebas .

dan kadang kala aku terlupa. cuma merintih dan merayu dalam kesedihan. tetapi tidak pernah melakukannya dalam kegembiraan. sering kali aku terlupa. :((

hep farah! jangan jadi malas! =D

bodohnya kau melayan perasaan bodoh ni! kereta lalu pun boleh naik jadi gila! haih!

I actually have my "2011 in summary" saved as draft. currently still lazy to upload the rest. will publish it when I feel like it. Anyways, hari ni saya macam nak cerita pasal novel. Yes, novel Melayu yalls. Siapa yang kenal wa rapat memang diaorang tahu yang saya ni kaki novel. English - Melayu. Lagi jiwang. Lagi tangkap leleh lagi layan. Ish, kalau baca sorang-sorang dalam bilik malam-malam bukak lampu tidur samar-samar. Kena pulak novel yang "kahwin-laki curang-bini setia menanti-laki menyesal kejar kejar kuch kuch hota hai bini balik" yang tu memang lagi tangkap leleh. Besok pagi bangun tido mata bengkak macam orang putus cinta. So my brother dari hari tu, rasa nya awal tahun lagi dah bebel cuba baca buku girlpren bestfriend dia tulis buku ni. Alahai, lemahnya. Dengar tajuk je pun tak selera. Kalau cerita Resident Evil ke, yang ada mayat-mayat ni semua tak layan, nak suruh layan Zombijaya. Tu mimpi ngeri namanya. Kalau takde kisah cinta ke, romantik ke, harapa...

January. an awesome day to kick start with. the boys finally gathered everyone for a "jersey BBQ". started my pupillage. 17th Jan to be exact. the first, and probably my only AJL. heh. Digi KPOP Party, a last minute free ticket. I get to see Beast! How awe-some is that? Lil's 24th celebration. complete! February. February was a rollercoaster ride. ups and down. my grandmother passed away. rasa kehilangan sangat-sangat. It was so hard to be direct on how I feel for few months. Sedih sangat-sangat , sampai duduk sorang-sorang dalam bilik pun rasa macam sunyi. Lagi-lagi bila experience first time mandikan jenazah. Tengok orang yang kita sayang dikapankan. And time tu rasa hilang. March&April March. Actually we hesitate nak pergi ayah's RMC reunion dekat Lumut sebab rasa macam it wasnt the right time. But on second thought, it was probably the best. I enjoyed lumut and meeting some sailors of course. And of course, being saved by PASKAL ok. you can read bout it here G...

selagi tu cakap taknak ingat dia. selagi tu la dia muncul depan kita. *mengeluh macam orang tak reti bahasa*

wow. I actually forgot about the existence of this blog. pardon me. I know I only have like 10 random people reading now and then but I like reading back the old entries. Its like a wake up call. I was that 'bimbo' huh? That precious moment. Its coming to end of the year! Will soon gather up all the photos for a 2011 in summary, cause 2011 have been a bumpy ride for me. But Alhamdulillah I am grateful for everything I have now. I've been on holiday... so, I've been waking up at 6, performing my prayers and going back to bed. No I'm lying at the going back to bed part. The longer you're at home, the more 'bibik' you'll be. Hehe. But I enjoy doing house chores. I like having a clean room (my room only) and maybe kitchen. I forgot whats been going on for this whole month. Let me upload some photos from phone just to recall back. *uploading from phone* (really this really took almost half an hour. so I end up saving this post and continued my reading) Te...

its a weird feeling when you sit down with your friends and the things you talk about is marriage. Funny how everyone is going through that stage of life. I see half of my friends now going around with babies. Feeling a little left out maybe? Urgh, the stages of life! I feel like I'm about to write "how to play, LIFE". First stage. I think the stages of life begins in deciding your future career. That part when you walk around open day at your local university/colleges deciding what you want to be. and realizing, "ish takleh buat main benda macam ni!" You dont want to waste four years in university and end up doing something else right? WRONG. there's opportunities out there! Why not. Rezeki dekat mana-mana kan? Why not? Maybe not in this field. Maybe in different field. I didnt think of this when I decided to do law. I didnt even know what's the meaning of justice and equality until I did my chambering. I realized the need of law when I see how less for...

(courtesy of tumblr) and today Allah answered my prayers. Syukur. I hope it'll be over soon. It'll be okay soon. InsyaAllah.

at this point in life, every time I'm alone I kept thinking. Why would someone think of ending their life? Don't you love people around you? Your family? Have you thought how would they feel when you decided to end this life? Have you thought of Allah? Have you thought of the sins? I kept thinking where's your Iman? What's playing in your mind that you would commit such sin? ;(

salahkah saya kerana menegur? salahkah saya kerana tidak menegur? dua benda ni selalu buat kita rasa keliru. kadang-kadang tak tahu mana nak mula. in the end, I'll just end up staying silent. Kadang-kadang senyum sahaja. Kadang-kadang tolak terus. Mungkin saya tidak arif bab-bab ini. Tapi saya tahu hukumnya masih HARAM. Mereka tahu ianya HARAM, tapi kenapa mereka masih melakukannya? Bila kita tegur, jawapannya kubur masing-masing jaga. Bila tak tegur, in the future jari itu ditunding balik ke kita? Whats the best way? I dont know. ;(